Breastfeeding Rant

Everything is in place for little Johnny's arrival!
The only bit of fear I have lately is breastfeeding again.

There is just so much pressure on nursing mothers.

First of all... personally, nursing Jace was toe curling, painful for the first month and I was so afraid to "fail" him.
I worried about how much or how little I was producing, how to keep from leaking and how to keep from running out.
I worried about correcting his super aggressive latch (the kid had four teeth by four months).
I sat wide eyed watching the sexuality very quickly drain from my body with each scary looking suction of that damn breast pump...
We feel guilt if, heaven forbid, we need an evening off to let loose with a much anticipated large glass of wine... or three.
Well intended advice is given from people who think there is a simple answer for everything, but still nothing seems to help. The stress piles up.
We know the best thing to do is "relax", but come on... most of us moms wear many hats. We are not just mothers to that baby. We are mothers of our other children, we are carpoolers, we are wives, we are employees or employers, we are cooks, we are housekeepers... "Relax" is a far fetched.
We do our best, for as long as we can. That is our success.

Just when we find a feeding rhythm, the pressure from outside sources on the where and how you feed your baby starts to come to play...

All of the sudden our bodies have become so sexualized that using them to naturally feed our children on the go is viewed as "gross" or "inappropriate" but then, using them to sell hamburgers and to please the eye of the public is beautiful and far more accepted.

Don't get me wrong. I love the female body. Boobs are awesome and multifunctional. They makes hugs so much softer. They attract when needed AND (holy shit) they provide this liquid gold that can solely nourish a tiny human being.

:: Um... they are basically magical unicorns. If you don't appreciate all of their powers, you are ignorant to the basis of their appeal. ::

They SCREAM femininity and all the amazing power that comes with.

I just watched an interview between Alyssa Milano and Wendy Williams where Wendy shares her negative opinions about Alyssa's openness with breastfeeding.

She literally says that she has no problem with mothers dressing extremely provocatively in minimal skin tight clothing with their breasts hanging out to accentuate their sexuality in public, but feeding their child in public in inappropriate.

Seriously? Now, yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But to use that public platform to tell the viewers that our female bodies are perfectly acceptable as sexual expressions but using them as maternal providers should be done in privacy...? You've got to be kidding me.

For the record, I have no problem with either one. I surely believe it is important for mothers to feel beautiful and confident in their bodies, however, feeding your child is also beautiful and far more important.

I worry for the generations to come. Media puts all value on sexual appeal. Our kids grow up with that view as the "normal" and important.

Well... not our boys.

Will I nurse our new baby in front of our sons? Yes... no question about it.
How will that effect them? It will normalize breastfeeding for them at a young age. It will allow them to have knowledge and respect for the human body. It will give us a chance to instill the correct values in them while we are still their biggest influence. That's a big priority for us.

 

You're welcome, next generation.

Will I nurse in public? Of course. "Oh little Johnny, you're hungry? Well... you will have to wait. That lady over there on her phone might spit her latte if she catches a glimpse of my side boob."

I'm a pretty good judge of character. Around some people I will leave a room to give myself a little privacy, some I will just throw a cover on and a few I will ask to hold my hair out of the way so I can adjust. (haha)
However I choose to handle nursing my son will be based on what is most comfortable and convenient for me and him.

I'm not going out to a parking lot, and I'll be damned if I head to a bathroom to feed my kid where people relieve themselves.

Get over it.

On a positive note; Shout out to these public figures who are using their influence to normalize breastfeeding.

 

 

(climbing down off my soap box, now.)

The Final Days are Comical

This pregnancy has really been amazing. I can't say that enough. I have been trying to embrace the beauty of this final pregnancy because it will be the last time my body will be serving a purpose in this way. I am truly thankful. BUT these last few weeks I can do nothing but laugh pathetically. I have hired Kirk as my round the clock crane. Pulling me off of couches, out of bed...off the floor, while I psychotically giggle and groan. He's a good sport. I think he might even like it...

:: I'm extremely graceful and ladylike these days... ::

 

 

There's really no other way to handle it but laugh. I am pretty sure Johnny is dislocating my pelvis with every step I take. I had Jace exactly a week and a half from now in his pregnancy. It's amazing how fast time has flown.

 

So, with the pelvic pain and the time approaching, I went to my doctor appointment on Wednesday with high hopes that this little guy was showing signs of arrival. I give my standard urine sample and sit back down in the waiting room with Kirk who is laughing hysterically at my struggles.

 

:: I suppose I am due for an anatomy lesson. Ever since I have lost visibility of my "hoo" (my lady bits) I have found it impossible to pee in those cups. I realize that I have not physically seen my hoo in some time, but I am PRETTY SURE it hasn't relocated.

Locate. Place cup. Pee. Done. Right?? Wrong.

Locate. Place cup. Pee. Soak hand. Frantically rearrange to try and catch the requested amount. Feel completely ridiculous. Wash up. Rejoin Kirk in the waiting room who has the biggest grin, just waiting to hear how it went. ::

 





Anyway, the baby is estimated over 6 pounds now, and I am showing zero signs of him being on his way.

 

That's ok. It's not too bad. So now, we walk. We walk through the dislocating of the pelvis. We smile and we know that we get to meet the little bundle in a matter of weeks.

 

"Everything grows rounder, wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be." 

 

 

One more of these little men added to our batcave? Yes, please.  Life is so good.

 

 

New Year: Organization Station

It's a new year!
Lets get our diet and exercise resolutions in order!

:: I think I just felt all my friends and family rolling their eyes ::

Ok. So, that stuff isn't really my focus.

This year is full of changes and new adventures, though. Between our two boys with two different schedules, our new little bundle arriving very shortly and diving into entrepreneurship with multiple new career starts, I've been at a loss for where to start and how to get a good grip on all of this. 

Start out the year with the right focus.

 

Kind of like starting off each day with clean clothes, a fresh cup of coffee and a thirst for inspiration.

 

:: ...as I hypocritically type this in my pajamas. Fine, Kirk's shirt because my pajamas don't fit anymore. ::

 

THE POINT IS, the effort is there!

 

So, I did a little search on Etsy for a planner to at least get my schedule in order. I found the greatest little shop for exactly what I was looking for. It's called ninjandninj. When I wrote the shop owner, Jenna Dempsy, with questions she was super friendly and helpful. SOLD!

 

:: getting all warm and fuzzy knowing these new planners came with some badass energy ::

 

2016 Weekly Planner:

Monthly Calendars with optional tabs

Weekly Calendars

Notes Pages

Fun Stickers

 

 

12-Month Financial Planner:

Budgeting Goals and Advice

Budgeting Tools and Organization

Meal Plan Organization

Contacts

Notes Sections

More Stickers

 

 

There's more in there too. I would definitely go check out her shop if you are looking for some organizational help for the year.

 

I'm slightly obsessed. It's a brand new year. Her options are adorable.

 

... and her card says I don't have to wear pants... so...

 

 

Loving this.

So inspired.

 

 

 

Shop Info.

Click the logo below and check it out!

 

Quinoa Burrito Bowls

Super simple and healthy meal. Quinoa Burrito Bowls.

Make your quinoa according to the package directions and season it with a taco seasoning you like.

• I used a package of Organics Quick-Cook Quinoa (2 cups dry) which made plenty and I mixed an entire 1.25 ounce package of Safeway brand taco seasoning.

Then just chop up a whole bunch of goodies you want to add to it. That's it!

• I used tomatoes, red onion, lemon slices, corn, black beans, avocados, olives, cheese and hot sauce. You could use a meat if you want, but the quinoa itself provides all the protein you need.

Just watch out for the impatient little hands...They come out of nowhere.

Enjoy!

Down to the Last Month

Over 35 weeks down, now. It has gone surprisingly fast.

Yesterday was the first day home without the kids. Somehow I am busier at home than I ever was at work. There is always SOMETHING.  Laundry is magically multiplying and as a sick game, I am pretty sure one of each pair of socks is off playing poker at a nearby sports bar.

I am very tempted to buy the boys all new socks that are exactly the same and toss every other sock in the house. Then, magically, the poker party will be much... much... smaller... heh heh... I'll show them.

:: evil eyebrow raise::

Anyway, the laundry is done, the hospital bags are packed and I think I finally feel ready for whenever this little guy chooses to make his appearance.

Want to see the nursery? You have no choice.

 

The hubby and I painted all of the wall art. We didn't feel like sticking to a single theme. Variety is the spice of life.

THIS is really when it hit me. Everything slowed down for a minute. The tiny little outfit for Johnny's trip home. His first band shirt and beanie just like daddy. It's really happening. In a matter of weeks we will be holding this little guy in our arms. I cant wait to see his precious face.

Christmas Oops

So...
Christmas was great. Kirk and I made adorable fingerprint cards with the kids to give their other parents on Christmas morning. The boys then came our way to get our celebrations started. They were spoiled, super well behaved and happy. All was jolly, hectic and magical.

...I would share that in detail with you if I didn't just accidentally clear EVERY SINGLE picture from my camera before I could download them. Every. Single. Beautiful. Snap.

The present opening, the kids laughter and cuddles, the families, the Wii Dance competition, the Bean Boozled extravaganza (So hysterical... Equally disturbing)... EVERYTHING, gone.

I guess it's ok. I'll be classy about it...

:: flashback to an hour ago ::

Me falling to my knees yelling "Noooooooooooooooooooo!!! Whyyyyyy?!!!!!" 

Apologies to my concerned neighbors. 

So... The memories will have to be enough.

And now, the new focus... The Cleanup.

Between the abundance of toys that I am supposed to magically find room for and the strong nesting urge I feel being weeks away from baby Johnny's arrival, I need some organization ideas! Cash, our dog, has been helpful in eating the majority of the smaller toys...

Hormones are peaking and I'm ready to pack the holidays away, start the new year, and get organized! Open to inspiration and good energy.

But for today, a couple of my favorite pictures from the past week or so. Mainly to make myself feel better about the death of the Christmas pics.

New Chapter

Today is my last day of work and it feels amazing.

You know that blissful feeling when you go to tuck your kids into bed at night after they have been adorably testing your last nerve all day?

It starts in the morning when one child is refusing to put on new underwear because the other pairs are "weird feeling." You try and explain how disturbing that is, but before you know it the mom voice is out and the child is STOMPING each leg through the new underwear. You smile, and walk away.

You are running late for school and the oldest spends five minutes trying to tie his shoes while simultaneously calling the dog over to wrestle. You finally coax them into the car with promises of listening to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" on repeat all the way to school. But the music must be really exciting because the potty training child needs to pee half way to school. And when a potty trainer needs to pee... they panic, I panic, the whole world panics. So you pull over and hide the kid between you and the open car door to pee on the curb. (Yeah judge me... I don't care. Perks of having boys.) A drip comes out... literally a drip... You stare at each other blankly in silence until he gives you the cutest smirk in the world and says "...done."

You thought your nerves were safe after the drop off, but when you get home it starts all over. The youngest doesn't like what you cooked for dinner because he doesn't feel like pasta today and the simple veggies are too spicy. You stare each other down, western stand-off style, across the counter until you are finally forced to let him up from the seat only because if you don't get them into that bath the teacher is going to call CPS thinking they raise themselves.

It all starts to calm down as your reading the bedtime story except they are whisper fighting over who gets to sleep with the dinosaur stuffed animal tonight. Sooooo, you make up words and speed read through the rest (because lets face it, they aren't listening), kiss and hug them, turn on the night light, and...

skip out the door hand in hand with your hubby into the glowing abyss of peaceful alone time.

THAT is how I feel today.

Speed reading nonsense words to my current job, just to step out at 5pm into the glowing abyss of maternity leave followed by self employment.  

I have worked full time for someone else since I was 14, for all but the 8 weeks maternity leave after my first son.

I am ready. I am so ready to be in control of my own schedule and life.

But first... lets get this baby out.