Seven years flew right on by

Jace turned seven this week.

Every year seems to go by faster than the last. After his birthday I asked him if he felt any older. With a surprised look he said, "No! Isn't that weird?"
Yeah. Yeah, it is. I feel it. It feels like yesterday I was rocking him to sleep. Now, every time I turn around he is carrying around one of his brothers. He is reading. He has even started asking me to teach him to change diapers so he can help out. He's not normal. He's amazing.

I had him when I was twenty-one. He turned my name into "Mommy". Actually, he turned me into a lot of things...

• My voice changed... Baby talk startled babbling from my mouth towards his tiny face... which eventually morphed to the more commonly used "Mom Voice"...
• Camera flashes became abundant as I turned into a paparazzi.
• Hell, he even taught me to appreciate the gift of coffee.

Nothing is the same.

He stole the hearts of his other mommy and myself, and now both of his stepparents and a boat load of siblings and extended family.

Life is good. He assures that, with his made up songs, crazy facial expressions and new found dance moves. How can any day be bad?

Happy birthday, my beautiful boy. You make every day a little brighter.

:: Now, for the slideshow ::

 



 

:: and now he is seven ::

 

Flashbacks

It's been about three weeks since Johnny's delivery. Life is beautiful, full of shits and giggles. Shits from the baby... exhausted (semi-psychotic) giggles from Kirk and me.

I was once told that mothers have this natural born gift to forget the hard times of birth. They forget the pain of labor and the exhaustion of the sleepless nights. They forget that for the first few months they are a slave to hourly feedings, burpings, rockings, walkings and diaper changings of the new little bundle. They forget that simple things like showering and taking trips to the bathroom by yourself take strategic planning. They forget that... most of the time... they cry for no reason other than to strengthen their future rock star voices.

It's true. We do that. It's all coming back to me now. Greasy haired flashbacks of seven years ago go racing through my mind.

Then the little bundle FINALLY falls asleep on your chest and about twenty seconds later you realize it is because the built up gas he has been crying about has escaped his tiny body... and left its mark through his clothes and all over your shirt... for the second time that day. And its worth it. It's all worth it.

My favorite things:
How his little lips and his natural scowl look just like his daddy's baby pictures.
How Harper obsessively tells me he loves him and insists on brushing his hair.
How when he cries, Jace walks straight over to him and soothes him until he goes to sleep. No questions asked.
How his little legs kick with excitement in the water of his bath.

:: (swoon).... and instantly it's all worth it again ::

 

 

In honor of our sanity, Kirk has used his spare time in the last few weeks to build us a garage getaway; equipped with a bar, lounge and music stage. All was made from donated or recycled materials, by the way. I'm extremely impressed... and slightly turned on.

 

:: (...as my sister in law gags) Love you Ash! ::

 

 

 

Harper brought home this Woody doll. This doll had Kirk and me giggling the entire day.

 

:: Yes, we are 12...and three quarters ::

 

"Daddy, I want to show Grandma my Woody!"

"My Woody is dancing!"

Well played, Pixar... Well played.

 



 

Anyway, the boys have been rocking that stage, a few friends have already graced the stage... and I... am looking forward to sitting at that bar.

 



Johnny Ray is finally here.

I haven't blogged in a few weeks. That's not because I haven't had anything to say, but because communicating with society in the last few weeks of pregnancy is kind of like angry drunk texting. Just don't do it... You are NOT in your right mind.

:: Kirk was explaining to me his view of the final week. "Well, I knew you were in the room by yourself so I wanted to come visit... but when I walked in to see you sitting on the bed in clothes that didn't fit your belly anymore... watching Chelsea Handler with a scowl on your face... next to a breast pump and an empty carton of ice cream... I slowly backed away to the garage." ::

Some days were better than others...

Finally the day came. We had a scheduled c-section that went beautifully. I was able to be conscious through the entire delivery while my husband talked the nerves away. And there he was! The loud cries of the 8 lb 11 oz little bundle that had been regularly round house kicking my bladder for the last few month had arrived!

The next few days in the hospital were lovely. Full of bandage changings for me and diaper changings... for both me and the baby. Oh, the beauty of birth.

And then we were home, where both the brothers got to swoon over our new little addition. The house got a little bit more crazy and a whole lot more blessed.

 

The days end the same way they did while Johnny was in my belly. Listening to daddy play and sing him to sleep.

Life is good.

Breastfeeding Rant

Everything is in place for little Johnny's arrival!
The only bit of fear I have lately is breastfeeding again.

There is just so much pressure on nursing mothers.

First of all... personally, nursing Jace was toe curling, painful for the first month and I was so afraid to "fail" him.
I worried about how much or how little I was producing, how to keep from leaking and how to keep from running out.
I worried about correcting his super aggressive latch (the kid had four teeth by four months).
I sat wide eyed watching the sexuality very quickly drain from my body with each scary looking suction of that damn breast pump...
We feel guilt if, heaven forbid, we need an evening off to let loose with a much anticipated large glass of wine... or three.
Well intended advice is given from people who think there is a simple answer for everything, but still nothing seems to help. The stress piles up.
We know the best thing to do is "relax", but come on... most of us moms wear many hats. We are not just mothers to that baby. We are mothers of our other children, we are carpoolers, we are wives, we are employees or employers, we are cooks, we are housekeepers... "Relax" is a far fetched.
We do our best, for as long as we can. That is our success.

Just when we find a feeding rhythm, the pressure from outside sources on the where and how you feed your baby starts to come to play...

All of the sudden our bodies have become so sexualized that using them to naturally feed our children on the go is viewed as "gross" or "inappropriate" but then, using them to sell hamburgers and to please the eye of the public is beautiful and far more accepted.

Don't get me wrong. I love the female body. Boobs are awesome and multifunctional. They makes hugs so much softer. They attract when needed AND (holy shit) they provide this liquid gold that can solely nourish a tiny human being.

:: Um... they are basically magical unicorns. If you don't appreciate all of their powers, you are ignorant to the basis of their appeal. ::

They SCREAM femininity and all the amazing power that comes with.

I just watched an interview between Alyssa Milano and Wendy Williams where Wendy shares her negative opinions about Alyssa's openness with breastfeeding.

She literally says that she has no problem with mothers dressing extremely provocatively in minimal skin tight clothing with their breasts hanging out to accentuate their sexuality in public, but feeding their child in public in inappropriate.

Seriously? Now, yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But to use that public platform to tell the viewers that our female bodies are perfectly acceptable as sexual expressions but using them as maternal providers should be done in privacy...? You've got to be kidding me.

For the record, I have no problem with either one. I surely believe it is important for mothers to feel beautiful and confident in their bodies, however, feeding your child is also beautiful and far more important.

I worry for the generations to come. Media puts all value on sexual appeal. Our kids grow up with that view as the "normal" and important.

Well... not our boys.

Will I nurse our new baby in front of our sons? Yes... no question about it.
How will that effect them? It will normalize breastfeeding for them at a young age. It will allow them to have knowledge and respect for the human body. It will give us a chance to instill the correct values in them while we are still their biggest influence. That's a big priority for us.

 

You're welcome, next generation.

Will I nurse in public? Of course. "Oh little Johnny, you're hungry? Well... you will have to wait. That lady over there on her phone might spit her latte if she catches a glimpse of my side boob."

I'm a pretty good judge of character. Around some people I will leave a room to give myself a little privacy, some I will just throw a cover on and a few I will ask to hold my hair out of the way so I can adjust. (haha)
However I choose to handle nursing my son will be based on what is most comfortable and convenient for me and him.

I'm not going out to a parking lot, and I'll be damned if I head to a bathroom to feed my kid where people relieve themselves.

Get over it.

On a positive note; Shout out to these public figures who are using their influence to normalize breastfeeding.

 

 

(climbing down off my soap box, now.)

The Final Days are Comical

This pregnancy has really been amazing. I can't say that enough. I have been trying to embrace the beauty of this final pregnancy because it will be the last time my body will be serving a purpose in this way. I am truly thankful. BUT these last few weeks I can do nothing but laugh pathetically. I have hired Kirk as my round the clock crane. Pulling me off of couches, out of bed...off the floor, while I psychotically giggle and groan. He's a good sport. I think he might even like it...

:: I'm extremely graceful and ladylike these days... ::

 

 

There's really no other way to handle it but laugh. I am pretty sure Johnny is dislocating my pelvis with every step I take. I had Jace exactly a week and a half from now in his pregnancy. It's amazing how fast time has flown.

 

So, with the pelvic pain and the time approaching, I went to my doctor appointment on Wednesday with high hopes that this little guy was showing signs of arrival. I give my standard urine sample and sit back down in the waiting room with Kirk who is laughing hysterically at my struggles.

 

:: I suppose I am due for an anatomy lesson. Ever since I have lost visibility of my "hoo" (my lady bits) I have found it impossible to pee in those cups. I realize that I have not physically seen my hoo in some time, but I am PRETTY SURE it hasn't relocated.

Locate. Place cup. Pee. Done. Right?? Wrong.

Locate. Place cup. Pee. Soak hand. Frantically rearrange to try and catch the requested amount. Feel completely ridiculous. Wash up. Rejoin Kirk in the waiting room who has the biggest grin, just waiting to hear how it went. ::

 





Anyway, the baby is estimated over 6 pounds now, and I am showing zero signs of him being on his way.

 

That's ok. It's not too bad. So now, we walk. We walk through the dislocating of the pelvis. We smile and we know that we get to meet the little bundle in a matter of weeks.

 

"Everything grows rounder, wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be." 

 

 

One more of these little men added to our batcave? Yes, please.  Life is so good.

 

 

New Year: Organization Station

It's a new year!
Lets get our diet and exercise resolutions in order!

:: I think I just felt all my friends and family rolling their eyes ::

Ok. So, that stuff isn't really my focus.

This year is full of changes and new adventures, though. Between our two boys with two different schedules, our new little bundle arriving very shortly and diving into entrepreneurship with multiple new career starts, I've been at a loss for where to start and how to get a good grip on all of this. 

Start out the year with the right focus.

 

Kind of like starting off each day with clean clothes, a fresh cup of coffee and a thirst for inspiration.

 

:: ...as I hypocritically type this in my pajamas. Fine, Kirk's shirt because my pajamas don't fit anymore. ::

 

THE POINT IS, the effort is there!

 

So, I did a little search on Etsy for a planner to at least get my schedule in order. I found the greatest little shop for exactly what I was looking for. It's called ninjandninj. When I wrote the shop owner, Jenna Dempsy, with questions she was super friendly and helpful. SOLD!

 

:: getting all warm and fuzzy knowing these new planners came with some badass energy ::

 

2016 Weekly Planner:

Monthly Calendars with optional tabs

Weekly Calendars

Notes Pages

Fun Stickers

 

 

12-Month Financial Planner:

Budgeting Goals and Advice

Budgeting Tools and Organization

Meal Plan Organization

Contacts

Notes Sections

More Stickers

 

 

There's more in there too. I would definitely go check out her shop if you are looking for some organizational help for the year.

 

I'm slightly obsessed. It's a brand new year. Her options are adorable.

 

... and her card says I don't have to wear pants... so...

 

 

Loving this.

So inspired.

 

 

 

Shop Info.

Click the logo below and check it out!

 

Quinoa Burrito Bowls

Super simple and healthy meal. Quinoa Burrito Bowls.

Make your quinoa according to the package directions and season it with a taco seasoning you like.

• I used a package of Organics Quick-Cook Quinoa (2 cups dry) which made plenty and I mixed an entire 1.25 ounce package of Safeway brand taco seasoning.

Then just chop up a whole bunch of goodies you want to add to it. That's it!

• I used tomatoes, red onion, lemon slices, corn, black beans, avocados, olives, cheese and hot sauce. You could use a meat if you want, but the quinoa itself provides all the protein you need.

Just watch out for the impatient little hands...They come out of nowhere.

Enjoy!